Whether a child has cancer themselves or someone they love is facing a diagnosis, the word cancer can feel big, scary, and confusing. But kids are incredibly capable of understanding difficult things—especially when we give them clear, honest information and space to ask questions. Here's how to talk with kids about what cancer is, what it means, and how to support them through it.
Explain it: “Cancer is an illness that happens when someone’s body develops unhealthy cells that grow too much or in the wrong way. Sometimes, these cells clump together and form a lump or bump called a tumor.” Keep the definition simple but accurate. Use body-based examples or visuals if helpful, and avoid overly vague language (like “sick” or “boo-boo”)—kids deserve clarity.
Clarify it: “There are many different types of cancer. Each one is named based on where it starts in the body—like brain cancer, bone cancer, or blood cancer. Cancer isn’t caused by germs, so you can’t catch it or share it. And no one causes cancer—it’s not anybody’s fault.” This helps reduce anxiety and guilt, especially common in young kids who may blame themselves or fear getting sick too.
Prepare for it: Whether a child is the one with cancer or someone they love has it, preparation matters. Let them know what to expect:
Hospital visits or overnight stays
Tests and treatments (like chemo, surgery, or radiation)
Physical changes (hair loss, tiredness, etc.)
Shifts in routine or who’s caring for them
The goal is to reduce surprises and help kids feel a sense of control.
Support it: Treatment can come with both good and hard days. Let kids know it’s okay to have lots of different feelings—sadness, confusion, frustration, hope. Help them:
Identify trusted adults and safe spaces
Use coping tools (like breathing, play, or drawing)
Stay connected to parts of life that feel normal and joyful
“You can’t control the cancer, but you can control how you face it—with support, tools, and people who care.”
Want More Resources?
If you're looking for a kid-friendly way to talk through cancer, check out The Dot Method —my interactive workbook created specifically to help children understand cancer and cope with all the changes it brings. It’s designed for use by parents, caregivers, or professionals, and walks kids through honest information, emotions, and support strategies for any cancer relationship.
You can also explore:
Partner Resources including both organizations and resources dedicated to pediatric and parent cancer.
The Difficult Conversations Bundle, which includes printable tools for talking about things like cancer, illness, and grief
The Ultimate Parenting Bundle, with both communication and coping tools for difficult conversations and moments
These resources were created to help you feel more prepared and your child more supported—every step of the way.